Ok so the other day I decided to give up coffee. Crazy right?! It seemed like a good idea at the time. I have anxiety and caffeine is a real no no. But I only drink one or two cups a day AND that can’t be bad for you…..right???
I think I lasted like one day and I’m drinking a cup right now. It’s not like I haven’t given it up before. I did when I was pregnant, and a few other times when I had this crazy idea. I obviously have a problem. But I’m not willing to fix it so I’m going to go finish my cup of coffee now. Even though it’s instant. It was all I had.
Advice is a tricky thing. Sometimes we give it when it’s not even asked for and other times we aren’t sure if we should give it when it is asked for. I think we have this idea that the people we have relationships with (friendships, partnerships, romances) have the right to give and receive advice automatically. It’s worked into the code. Is this right? Should we involve ourself so easily in each other’s affairs? And on the other hand isn’t that one reason we go to our “people”, to get their help?
It can be a slippery slope Because if it doesn’t work out.
Can we move to a new house now, this one is messy!?
I probably say this once a week at least. My hubby and I are constantly cleaning and yet, messy house! I had NO IDEA kids could be THIS messy! And it’s not like we have a lot of stuff. My husband I have hardly anything. The kids have most of it, but even they don’t have an abundance of toys. It’s just that they seem to think that their stuff should be ALL OVER the house at ALL times.
Now I do tell them to clean up their toys and we have thrown out things because they didn’t pick them up when we asked, so they got swept up with the garbage. Somehow this doesn’t phase them. I’ve tried punishing and rewarding, but my kids seem to have developed an immunity to my orders. Everything always goes back to being messy again not ten minutes later.
So I’m thinking the solution is to start over. Just walk away and start again. What do you think? Will it work? Hmmm ya I guess not. I wonder if there’s a boot camp for this??!!! Ok so I don’t know the solution. Except that I keep harping and they keep messing. Ooo I know….. I need a maid!
I am the worst at keeping in touch. I can admit it. I find it difficult to keep in touch with people I don’t see regularly. It’s not that not thinking of these people or that I don’t care, I just let life get in the way and then I let embarrassment and guilt keep me from making contact again after time has passed. Terrible I know.
Friendships are no different than spousal/partner relationships. They take and deserve effort to maintain. You have to invest time and energy into keeping them healthy and you have to be able to prioritize them in your life. The chemistry of the friendship plays a large role I how you go about this. And of course there are different levels of friendship. There the those people that you shared an event or period of time with, those you just hit it off with or had common interests with, and those that happen to meet along the way in life that may be more transient or less permanent. All deserve your attention to varying degrees. But this doesn’t make it easy. Life has a way of sneaking up on you sometimes. I think it is important to remember though how important friendships are. How in your time of need or joy it makes a huge difference having someone there to share the experience with. After all, loneliness is a horrible feeling that is easily cured with friendship!
Posted in Life
How many of you have kids that beg you for a pet??? And how many of you have a pet for your kids, but you take care of it?? My daughter is driving us crazy asking for a puppy! And honestly neither my husband or I are ready for that commitment.
I can remember being a kid and begging for my own dog. I had fish and birds, but no dog. Now that I’m the parent I appreciate why I didn’t have one. I now get why my parents said no. I did finally break down and get two of our kids fish. They each got a beta fish to keep in their rooms. Still I know I’m the one who is gonna care for them. It is a good lesson in responsibility and caring for them, but they are young still and can’t be held fully responsible.
It’s not that I don’t want a dog, because I do. But I just started two new jobs and am working a lot, so I don’t have the time to commit let alone the energy. My daughter doesn’t understand this if course. She thinks with her heart still. Something I could be accused of too. I will be ready for a dog in the near future. But I feel the need to have some more time right now. After all, I could use some me time too!
My hair and I are having a fight again. I think it should do what I want and it thinks I’m crazy. That’s the problem with curly hair, much like it’s owner it had a mind of it’s own that cannot be convince to conform. It may cooperate for an hour or two. But ultimately it’s true nature comes out.
I’m at a point now where there is just so much if it and it’s just so long that I want to cut it off. Funny thing is, this is the cycle I go through. Cut it off. Wish it were long. Grow it out. Hate it. Cut it off. Sounds ridiculous. But hey who am I to stand in the way if tradition.
This of course leads us to problem number two. Finding someone to cut it. I have a real issue here. I either get a horrible hair cut or a good one the first time and a “you can’t tell it was cut” one if I go back again. So now I’m afraid to get a hair cut. However annoyance is a slightly stronger emotion for me so….. Stay tuned for when I actually get the time to do it.
There was a time when tattoos were reserved for sailors, bikers and convicts. When you had to be pretty badass to get ink. Safety was not a concern and tattooing was a likely source of some nasty diseases. But all that has changed. As a society we seem to be moving towards a rather quick embrace of being all inked up.
When I was 15 I begged my mom to let me get a tattoo. Her answer at the time was of course a huge no. She told me that people would judge me and that it would affect my chances of getting a good job. She also mentioned something about it being forever. She was right. At that point it was still a very taboo thing and not at all mainstream. The people that were covered in tattoos were considered rebels or miscreants. And those that were “respectable” and had them, hid them under clothing. My mom went on to get two tattoos of her own, in case you were thinking she just doesn’t like them. She put them were she could hide them under clothes. It took me until I was 25 to finally get my first tattoo, and I got it where clothing hides it.
Almost 20 years after asking her for that tattoo society has almost done a 180. Tattoos or ink has become so mainstream that they make television shows about. I had a birthday party a month ago, of the 8 people there (all within a 10 year age group), only my ultra conservative husband was without a single tattoo. In fact the majority had at least 5 tattoos. When I think of all the people I know, most have at least one tattoo. It would be mostly those older than me that don’t. It would appear that we are accepting tattoos as a normal part of our culture. I wonder if that irritates the original pioneers of tattoos. Or maybe it’s a relief, or validation.
I am almost optimistic enough to think that appearances are become less of a focus in our culture. That we are recognizing differences and rights to expression. That perhaps we are becoming less segregated as a whole. Of course this is a long shot. As I say this, commercials with unrealistic looking people are filling the tv screen and somewhere someone is being beat up for their race, sex or sexual preference. Still. It would seem with recent acceptance of homosexuality, tattoos and sex and race equality standards, that perhaps we are sifting through to find our humanity.
Our opinion of people, of jobs and of places is based on a few factors, like how we are raised. I think age and life experience also play a huge factor is the way we see things.
Like many teenagers I thought I knew it all and that the world would be laid out at my feet, especially if I went to university and got a degree. Of course I was about as good at knowing what career best suited me then as I am now, so my choice in subject matter in school soon became a scrambled mess if indecision. But what it didn’t become was a career. I had preconceived ideas about how important or desirable jobs were and a snobbish view on which were good enough for me. It’s funny how coming full circle in life can make you see how wrong you were. I find myself back at minimum wage jobs just trying to have a job to go to. I also find myself kicking myself for not grabbing hold of opportunities when I was young that I thought weren’t good enough.
You just never know where life is going take you. And most importantly you never know where life has taken other people. I feel humbled by the last few years of my life. Having had several traumatic events and having to return to work scrounging for anything I can get, has made me realize that you really can’t judge a book by it’s cover. I have made it my goal not to be so judgemental of people because you just never know what fires they’ve had to walk through to be standing in front of you now. Most people would be shocked by my journey. You also can’t assume that just because a person’s livelihood dictates their personality and humanity. It isn’t at all easy not to judge. We are hard wired to do so. I think it’s a form of protection and a way for our brains to quickly make sense of our world. But I do think it’s important to try really hard to fight through that instinct and view life with a 360 degree eye. You just never know what you might see and what path might open up for you if you do.
Do you ever stop to just feel? And I don’t necessarily mean emotions, but instead being in the moment enough to feel the world around you. Do you ever let yourself feel the wind against your face, the water cascading down over your head in the shower, or the touch of your child’s hand against your arm? I don’t always take the time to do this but when I do I realize what an incredible experience it is.
Our lives are so crammed full of activities, responsibilities and media that we often forget to recognize the little, simple things in life. I know how hard it is to make time do anything, but this is something that really takes no time at all and can change the way you see the world and your day. It is really just a matter of focusing on where you are at any given moment and allowing yourself to drop the filters we put up to actually experience the little stimuli in our lives. Now there may be times when you don’t want to do this, like when you cut yourself chopping veggies for instance, but most of are external stimuli is of a relatively positive nature and can make you feel alive. Sometimes the simplest of things can give us the most pleasure.
So the next time you step out your door to go to work in the morning or you’re hugging a loved one. Close your eyes for half a second and truly FEEL the wind, the sun, the rain, or the warmth, the strength, and the fragility of what you are experiencing in that moment. Trust me, it’ll make your day!